Everyone has their drug. Whether it be money,sex,women, etc

Mine is music. Looking at my credit card ball all I see is
Fast Food $3
Fast Food $3
Concert $40
Fast Food $3
Fast Food $3
Concert $40
Fast Food $3
Fast Food $3
Concert $100
Concert $100
Hotel for Concert $300
Fast Food $3
Fast Food $3
Concert $25
Fast Food $3


I have a problem and instead of stopping it I need a better job to help me get my fix but even then I'll just go to more shows and be stuck in the same situation. SMH
Whatever it's all worth it. HARD was fucking amazing not as good as the other ones. I think my tolerance is going up. But still great LA Riots and DIM were cool but nothing to write home about. Erol Alkan did his thing but short set and Diplo rip that shit.
Funniest thing I read on the Coachella Board about Diplos set was "God I had to leave it felt like a high school dance". YEAH! but with people you like. Seriously I have come to the conclusion bitching makes people happy so they plan on not having regular fun so they can have fun bitching. Silly people. Boys Noize set started off really somber and I was coming down so that was weak then it picked up and I tried to get hype again but it was tres difficle.
& exactly 1 Month :) til Coachella!

You know that saying

You only know about people from what they tell you?



It's true you think you knew people but you don't know what they've been through to get where they're out. You only see the present and their actions. You don't see their history or their thoughts. Even though I look at myself as a non-judgmental person some times I do judge. And it's unfair and to anyone who I may have judged in the past I'm sorry. And to anyone I may judge in the future I'm sorry.

=\

I just had the weirdest motherfuckin Dream

So i was dreaming about something i forget but it leads to this

So this little white elf who is dressed in normal street clothes is talking to Stewie (from family guy) calm and then BAMM! starts kicking his ass I mean really kicking his ass. This is the worst ass whooping ive ever seen in my life have him bloodied and bruised. Then he turns nice and starts asking him to vote for him and makes him sign a contract that says if he doesnt vote hell die. Stewie all bruised up agrees. Then the elf says "I live in a mansion" in a sad voice and then x-ray vision of the bottom of the toliet shows there a chair. He jumps in flushes himself and sits on that chair. I assume he lives there. He is just sitting there sad.

Then he flushes back up wearing a money green suit looking like a million bucks. Still an elf tho then he's being an asshole to Stewie but this time with words saying he was a bitch and he already signed the contract theres nothing he could do about. And Stewie was there just crying and stuff.

I just woke up less than 10 minutes ago but Im still jumbled and I doubt Im gonna remember more later so that's my dream and I'm sticking to it.

Moral of the story: Don't trust Politicians

Look back on my life and my life gone

Where did I go wrong?

So today at my counselor meeting I realized I shitted away 1 and 1/2 semesters of schooling. :|. Well that sucks and to top it off Mother is extremely bugging. I told her I would get a 2nd job or a fulltime so ya know I can be independent and move out. You want to know the response? "You have to go to school to live here you wanna work, move out!" Huh?! So wait how do I move out if I can't work enough hours to pay a respectable rent that doesn't consist of a cardboard box and string. Oh brother! But I'm through being depressed about that shit whatever happens happens. I'm at a point in my life where I want to be happy for the rest of my life and I control my destiny.

Now on to happier shit so when The Wire 1st premiered I had HBO. By episode 4 I didn'. This was what 4 or 5 years ago. So I got Season 1 and 2 on DVD. And I watched all of Season 1 except the finale and all I have to say is WHOA! But yea Omar is a G and it is very capitivating. And Moving Units the 24th. Other than that Love, Live, And then ya Dead.

Reflections on 2008

So it's been 365 days since we brought in 2008. Trying to leave the demons in 07 bringing in the new year with joy and festivities hoping to set a trend that the next 364 days would follow. Realistically this doesn't make sense but we try to make it work in our human minds.

Last year 2007 ended with tails of chasing tail, saying fuck school, and changing my mind every 5 seconds. I didn't have a NY kiss but I dapped my boy Preston and we both became committed to the money. Oh how that's changed. I dont know what he's doing but me I have lost so much value in money anymore I don't even care about the US economy.

Started the year in a relationship shortly after. Worst mistake of my life. We live and learn I understand but I ignored all warning signs and deserved everything that came to me in that relationship. So even if I still had hate in my heart I can't wish upon her because I should have known better. Kurupt said it best.

Me & my friends went through ups and downs. There were weeks I wouldn't see them and not even care. And they were months where we shared life changing moments together. And right now I don't know where me and my friends stand.

School. HHAHAHAHAH. Yea Epic Failure. Right now I don't even think school is for me.

I put on a facade to people. Like i read somewhere that this dude was having a bad day and he didnt say 10 words to people all day. That's the opposite of me. If people knew how I really saw myself they be worried. But everytime you see me I'm happen and if you even suspect any thing I cheer up real fast. I don't know who reads my blog but if some one does then confronts me about this I'm a laugh hella hard and tell them "You know I be fuckin around" It's just how I am.

Drugs. I don't think I got into as heavy as I think. I mean I'm 2 months clean so there is no dependency. But then again I can't see my life w/o drugs. Escape is what keeps me sane.

So on to 2009
My plans got royally fucked up so many times I don't even care. I honestly might get a blunt, a flask of henny and just chill at the park by my house and bring in the new year the ACTUAL way it's going to be. Me, myself, and I. That's the only who I can ever count on and even then I disappoint. So happy new year to everyone even though not everyone will have one. I mean look at how everyone is always complaining about the year before.

But it's ok it means you're never content. And isn't that what life is all about?

IDGAF

Rhododendrons

On the hottest night of the year
Lying in a patch of rhododendrons

A bottle of whisky under my arm
Trying to count a sky full of stars
I dream of order, I dream of fleets
Of Napoleon in aquamarine

He said "Linus put that blanket down
You've slammed your door too many times"
He said "Linus put that blanket down
The world won't wait"

Boy, what you gonna do with your life?

When I was your age, I was commanding fleets
When I was your age, I was soaked in victory

And now you can't keep a job and you can't keep a wife
What a horrible mess you're gonna make of your life
Watched way too many American films
To be John Wayne, Brando or James Dean

Waiting so long for your wrists to get thick
Waiting so long for the next great party
So many questions, so little to say
You don't need these weights

Boy, what you gonna do with your life?

So you want to be an artist, want to be a singer
Want to be remembered for what you could create

So you want to be a cowboy, riding to the distance
Never have to listen or answer to anyone

So you want to be a boxer, surviving on your instincts
Relying on your fists and the quickness of your wit

Are you bigger than these buildings and the grey around you?
Is your pain more worthy than everybody else?

Drunk again in the rhododendrons

N.E.R.D "Sooner Or Later" Video

My favorite song off Seeing Sounds turned into a video. It's cool expected more though.

Bloc Party was Fucking Amazing Tonight!

That would have been the title of my post had I gone tonight. I knew I should have bought a ticket, trusting anonymous sources never seems to work for me.

Maybe I'm not meant to see Bloc Party. If you don't believe peep the resume

Spring 2006: Was suppose to go missed on tickets. They sold out (my bad). I found tickets on craigslist 2 for 100. Me & my friend would buy them and my friend would give us a ride turns out he could only give one of us a ride. Concert missed

Fall 07: Detour Festival hyped for 2 months. Friends say we're going for sure. 100%. My friend buys a ticket I'm a get it at the door. Morning of the concert, friends say nah too much money don't want to go. Then my friend comes through in the clutch says he's down then realizes he has to leave at 10. I say fine whatever i dont care after 20 minutes of deciding. Then after all that he says never mind I dont want to go.

Today: I saw the date was hyped. Was gonna buy tickets but remembered a friend had a hook up. Friend lags and lags and then a week before we realize we got VIP. The day of the concert comes and well the guy who hooked my friend up has work all there apparently and cant make it to the concert and we can't go.

Yea so that was pretty much my story and like that we're off to bed.

O shit wait a minute more about me

School is over, this could possibly be the worst semester of my life. School wise and life wise. A lot of friends are helping me go down the wrong path and I hate to sound like the average dumb ghetto girl on myspace but this is a new year and a new man. I'm not like Katt Williams I dont appreciate hate. Contrary to belief I want people to understand me. I honestly don't know what 09 is going to bring but I know it's change. The optimistic hope for the best. The pessimistic fears the worst. Me, I just know no matter what there's a future and we can't stop time.

[DJ Drama]And like that, WE GONE![/DJ Drama]

Biko - Bloc Party